Beyoncé featuring Sean Paul — “Baby Boy”

BOW DOWN, ladies and gentlemen, because Queen B is about to blow your minds with a stunning display of goddessness and spectacularity.

In my mind, this is the moment that Bey became a full-blown superstar. Sure, the half-naked writhing on the fur blankets is ridiculously sexy and all, but… When she did that mind-bending backward flip in the sand, I did the loudest gay gasp in the history of the world and promptly made a deal with the devil where he could have my firstborn child if only I could replicate that move.

Unfortunately, I came closer to breaking my neck than perfecting that maneuver, and that, my friends, is why Beyoncé is the one selling out stadium tours and I’m not.